You + Me = We

" There are few greater gifts a couple can give each other than the joy that comes from feeling known and understood. Getting to know each other shouldn't be a chore." John Gottman What are Love Maps? Have you heard of a love map before? Well, neither had I until now. Love Maps are the foundation which John Gottman builds  marital relationships. Basically a love map is having a foundation of friendship, knowing the little things about your partner, their hopes, dreams and desires, which "creates a strong foundation for your friendship and intimacy." In chapter 4 of John Gottman's book, Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work he suggest 60 questions to help couples start their love map.  While the exercise might seem silly or too simple,  it is getting back to the foundation which your friendship is built on. Why are Love Maps Important? Love maps are important because the best way to build a relationship is by finding commonalities with on...

The Natural Man is an Enemy to God In the scriptures we read about the natural man and that he is an enemy to God. In the online Guide the Scriptures it says, "A person who chooses to be influenced by the passions, desires, appetites, and senses of the flesh rather than by the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Such a person can comprehend physical things but not spiritual things."  While I have read and quoted the scriptures many time I thought about this and asked myself why is the natural man an enemy to God? As I really contemplated it this time I was reminded that everything was created spiritually first and if this is so then man was created spiritually first. In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints we believe that we lived with God before we were born and that our spirits are eternal. Then I thought about just the body we gain when we come to earth. Think, if your body could exist on it's own, it would be subject to earthly tendencies. The body alone cann...

Wolves of Society In most religions today Jesus Christ is known as the "Good Shepherd," watching over us as his flock. It is fitting that we can easily pin the adversary as the wolves who are trying to prey on the innocent in our flock. In a talk given by Elder Bruce C. Hafen of the Seventy he mentions three different types of wolves that are apparent in marriages. They are the wolf of natural adversity, the wolf of their own imperfections, and the wolf of excessive individualism. The interesting thing to note is that this talk was given in 1996, but we can see the application of these principles continue to plague marriages even more than twenty years later.  The article really points out the difference between a covenant marriage and a contract marriage. We all know people around us who readily accept contract marriages and think it is not a big deal to separate. However, when we look at the problems in society today, we can usually link it back to families and where ...

"The greatest guardians of any and all virtues are marriage and family." Living in "Perilous Times" In the New Testament Paul teaches, "in the last days perilous times shall come." What does this mean for the world we live in. If you think about how the world has changed dramatically in many aspects over the past 50 years Paul's words hold true.  "Men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away." (2 Timothy 3:1-5) I think we can agree that we have seen these things begin to infiltrate the world around us. In my own life I hav...

In a conference address in 1980 President Spencer W. Kimball said, “Many of the social restraints which in the past have helped to reinforce and to shore up the family are dissolving and disappearing. The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us.” This counsel was from almost 40 years ago and yet we can see its relevance in the world we live in today. Truly the need for strong, connected and solid family structure is an asset and necessity to help us through and “preserve…families.” Three ways we can do this is by preserving the structure of the family unit, obeying the law of chastity and honoring covenants made with the Lord. President Kimball also said in his talk, “society without basic family life is without foundation and will disintegrate into nothingness.” The family is the basic unit for society and as families denigrate through divorce ...