Charity Can Bring About Change Lesson 10

Charity 
In the Book of Mormon it says, "charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever (Moroni 7:47)." As we strive to incorporate charity into our lives we are continually trying to do a little better to improve each day. Often when we think of having charity it can feel like big dramatic changes that we should make, but simple changes, small daily changes can make a big difference.  
"Marvin J. Ashton explains this principle well: "Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don't judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone's differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down."
As we turn toward the Savior and reflect his true love of charity we have to be willing and have a desire to change our actions, behaviors, thoughts and desires. We must align our hearts with his. 
Charity Never Failith...In Marriage
How many times have we heard the phrase charity never failith? Too many times to count, but as I thought about this phrase this week it touched my heart. If you think about it charity cannot fail because if charity if the pure love of Christ and He is perfect then charity can never fail...ever. Thus it becomes the source to healing for marriage relationships because as we allow charity to change us our marriages will become more perfect or sanctified. If we desire and show charity in our marriages then we can know we are on the right path because we are following the Saviors example. 
“It seems that every relationship faces an Abrahamic test. Somewhere along the way some challenge surfaces that seems insurmountable. It may be a spouse with a temper, one who will not be close and affectionate, or pornography and unfaithfulness. These challenges are insurmountable- unless we have charity. We simply will not survive and thrive in the challenges of marriage unless we take upon ourselves the mindset that Jesus has. His redemptive mindset is called charity.”
Change is Hard but Not Impossible
In our marriages we have to be willing to change our mindset or we will find ourselves in what Gottman's calls gridlock, when perpetual disagreements bring the argument to a standstill. He explains that when gridlock is often the result of unfulfilled , dreams, hopes and aspirations. When this happens we need to be able to communicate and gridlock gives us an opportunity to show charity because we can help the other person to discover dreams that might have laid dormant for a time.
I know if my life I have struggled to show charity to my husband. I have often punished him by gridlocking problems and not wanting to budge or show compassion or charity when it was probably needed most. I have been working on being the peace maker lately and have taken the opportunity in the last few weeks of letting the small things go that really don't matter. When we can set aside our pride and truly look to the Savior as our guide we will find greater happiness and peace. 

Goddard, H.W. (2007). Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage. Fairfax, VA: Meridian Publishing. 
Gottman, J.M., & Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (Revised). New York: Harmony Books.

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