Emotionally Connected? Lesson 7

Marriage is tough...
All of us have had trials in our lives including myself but being married is one of the hardest things I have ever experienced in my life. There are highs and lows like I never expected. I have been disappointed and hurt but have also been overjoyed and elated. Thus, marriage is the roller coaster of life. This week in Gottman's book we learned about being able to turn to our spouses which is "funding...their emotional bank." It is though small events that help the couples relationship to grow.
Recently on a Monday morning I had sent the kids to school and was feeling accomplished as I had just finished my scripture study and morning prayer. I settled in to get a lot of homework done when the phone rang. I recognized the number and knew it was the high school. The counselor gave me some devastating news regarding my son which would require medical attention. I felt like I was going to crumble, it was the final straw of discord in our home and in my marriage, I was crushed. I immediately went to my room and cried for a couple of hours. I felt very alone, and thought is this what my life has come to?  I allowed myself to wallow in the hurt for some time. My marriage has struggled for some time and I wasn't sure if we could truly survive another blow. I needed a lifeline, someone who would comfort me when I needed it most. When I couldn't turn to my husband, I knew I could turn to the Savior.
...but I am tougher!
The question was proposed, "How does faith in Christ strengthen a marriage?" Everyone's experience is different but for me faith in Christ helps strengthen my marriage because he is perfect.  Men and women are not, and because of our human nature we will falter and fail one another, it is bound to happen. However, when we utilize faith as an action word we are motivated to act as the Savior would, to love as he does and to care for one another in a more perfect way, motivated by compassion. 
In H. Wallace Goddard's book, "Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage." he says, "Marriage is God's graduate school for advanced training in Christian character" (p. 8). When I think about this quote it reminds me to:
      • Think before I act or say something, I might regret
      • Pray for my husband and to me see him as the Lord sees him and 
      • Serve my husband especially in small and simple ways
As I actively try to remember these things daily, I am a better disciple of Jesus Christ, which helps me to be more patient, kind and loving to those around me. Especially to those who matter most that are close to me. I am learning in this class to give up some of the need for power and to turn towards my husband for support like I didn't think I could before.
That particular Monday as I turned my burdens over to the Lord he reminded me through a blessing of the comfort that comes through trusting in Him completely and doing our best is all he asks for in return.


Goddard, H.W. (2007). Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage. Fairfax, VA: Meridian Publishing. 
Gottman, J.M., & Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (Revised). New York: Harmony Books.

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